The Snowman Epidemic: Twilight

Posted: February 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

Vampires have had various bouts of popularity over the years. Bram Stoker first made them popular in literature with his classic novel Dracula, which is actually a lot more boring than one would think given it’s history, but that’s besides the point. Bella Lugosi and Christopher Lee brought new invigoration to that same character throughout a history in film. Skipping ahead decades, Anne Rice brought new life to the vampire with her popular Vampire Chronicles series of books starring Lestat (a role made popular again in film by Tom Cruise). Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer continues to have a cult following and popular new shows True Blood and The Vampire Diaries currently have their place on television. But one franchise, unquestionably, has brought the vampire back to the height of it’s popularity. More popular these days than zombies, ninjas and robots (all of which have had their place in the limelight). That franchise, boys and girls, is Twilight.

However, there is undeniable evidence that this popular series is, in fact, not about vampires at all. Even the so-called werewolves are inaccurately named. However, there is more truth their legend at least. The werewolves are actually skinwalkers, a common native American legend. They are mistakenly called werewolves because they just so happen to turn into wolves. The “vampires”, however, are nothing of the sort.

These beings do two major things not common to vampire lore. They sparkle in sunlight and they shatter when you hit them. Coupled with the two things that are common with vampires, being pale and cold, it is clear what these creatures actually are.

This truth came to me one winter day when I was walking through a deep snowfall at the Virginia Beach oceanfront. I took notice of the fact that the cold, pale snow was sparkling in the afternoon sunlight. It then occurred to me how fragile snow is. So fragile that it can break in one’s hands. It all became clear in that very moment. Twilight is not about vampires at all. It is about snowmen!

So we can now all thank Stephanie Meyer for bringing back into popularity…the snowman! Not since the days of Frosty has this mythical creature been so prominently featured in the spotlight.

That is all, dear readers. Now…it is time to anxiously await the return of AMC’s The Walking Dead, which is returning zombies to the spotlight…overtaking the reign of Twilight’s snowmen.

 

 

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